Sometimes the need for change is obvious: a role you’ve outgrown, a decision arriving, a clear pull in a different direction. This piece isn’t about those. It’s about the other kind, when work, or some other part of a life that has served you well, suddenly stops feeling right, and you can’t say exactly why.
It can be destabilising. It catches you off guard, with no real clarity on what exactly is off, what exactly is missing, or what exactly you should be doing instead.
And if you’re an achiever, a go-getter, a doer, it feels significant, because all you want is to know where you’re going and what you need to do, so you can get on and do something about it.
The thing is, there usually aren’t immediate answers when this happens. This glitch (as I like to call it) is almost like something inside you is now in conflict with something outside of you.
If it’s a deeper glitch rather than a tactical one, then in my experience this isn’t necessarily about immediate change. This is about recalibration.
So try reframing “something needs to change quickly and I don’t know where to start” into “something needs to change soon and I need to test a few approaches”. It eases the pressure whilst giving you some focus for action. Either way you are committing to change, and that is a very good place to start.
When you’re not sure where to start, here are five things to work with as part of your test-and-learn approach.
Align your environment to your values
If you don’t know your values, definitely start there first. Values drive our actions and behaviour. When we can live by them, things tend to feel right. When they’re in conflict, it shows up as dissatisfaction, and often as exactly the kind of unnameable “offness” this piece is about.
Values change over time, too. If you’re feeling out of sorts, it’s worth checking in on what’s important to you at your core now, rather than assuming the answers from before still hold.
Once you’re clearer on your values, look for parallels between what’s missing and how that’s affecting you right now. If you have a value of recognition, you may realise that what’s really bothering you is all the work you’re doing on a project going unnoticed, or all the effort you’re making in a relationship being taken for granted. Start to unpick the parallels between your core values (your drivers of motivation) and the tensions in your life as it is, and see if anything starts to make a little more sense than it did before.
Then think about how you can adjust your environment to reflect your values. Does it need a conversation? And has that conversation become easier now that, instead of “I don’t know why I’m not feeling motivated on this project”, your opener is “it’s affecting me that my work isn’t being recognised on this project, and that matters to me”?
Work to your strengths
Working to our strengths makes us happier, more engaged and more effective, and it changes how work feels, not just how it goes.
You know your strengths, but do you know them objectively? Ask around. A mix of friends, family, colleagues: “What are my strengths?”, “What am I good at?”, “What do I do better than others?” Then get brainstorming on ways to use them more frequently, more intensively, more consistently.
When I did this exercise, I heard the same things again and again: “you’re a great listener”, “you’re non-judgemental”, “you always see situations from a different perspective”. So off I went to train as a Samaritans listening volunteer, where I could use all of that in a new and structured way. (It turned out to be one of the first steps in my own change of direction, though I didn’t know it at the time. The full story is here.)
Be curious
Get investigative. Don’t think too hard about this one: if you’re drawn to something or someone, if you feel excited or instinctively interested, follow your nose.
Ask questions, consume content, attend the webinar, go to the information evening. Don’t be led by what you think you could get out of it. Let go of any attachment to the outcome; just take the action and see where it leads.
Free yourself from your own expectations, from other people’s, and from how it “fits” with your current direction. If you’re a head of operations and you feel drawn to modern jazz, just go with it.
Make time to learn
Linked to all of the above: make time to learn, and learn by doing.
Passion often comes from application rather than preceding it. Start doing things that instinctively catch your attention, that build on your strengths, that align with your values, or that simply give you a sense of joy and flow.
This is a genuinely fun way of opening your mind up, especially when you’ve been in a career for 15 or 20 years and you know what you know, but don’t know what else could work for you. Have a go. You might discover new interests, new strengths, new application of your skills, especially when you’re following your instincts without an agenda. Take note of what gives you the most energy, what makes you feel alive.
Build relationships
Talk to people. Your network, and your network’s network. Ask them why they do what they do, how they got into it, what their advice would be, whether there’s a way to learn more from what they do.
We’re all human. It can feel lovely, and be flattering, to be asked these questions. People love to help people. So ask. Get to know new people, different people.
When I started doing this, I was overwhelmed by how many people were doing such different, exciting things. Spin-offs of old jobs, invented jobs, hybrid jobs. I’d been so blinkered in the corporate world that this felt like a different universe.
I can tell you this much: you never know where a conversation will lead, but it will always lead nowhere if you don’t have it.
Where will you start? Take a second now and think about what in this piece resonated with you. Are you feeling any differently to how you felt when you clicked to read? Do yourself a big, big favour and write down one action you’ll take from the above. You now have somewhere to start.
Some glitches don’t untangle alone, and talking one through is exactly what a free 30-minute conversation is for. You’ll leave with a clearer sense of what’s going on, whatever you decide to do about it.
