Decisions, decisions, decisions.
BIG decisions. DIFFICULT decisions. IMPORTANT decisions. COMPLICATED decisions.
So many.
Easier to coast along and not make a decision? That’s still a decision.
Unhelpful really, isn’t it.
What if decision making could be easier? It could be.
Know
Your
Values.
Values??
Yes, values. The things you cannot see but that you will feel everyday, in some shape or form. They are intrinsic to you and powerful drivers that underpin the way you behave, the reasons behind your actions and reactions, the inner sense check that drives your decisions and choices.
Values are powerful but not permanent, they change over time as we grow. Values can get stronger, weaker or completely disappear. New values can emerge. Old values can reappear. We can have social values, values we’ve inherited, even changing values when experiencing a transition. So it’s always good to have a check on what your values are right now.
Knowing with absolute certainty what your values are and what drives you can make life’s little and big challenges a little or a lot easier to deal with.
How do values play out in real life?
If something aligns with your values, it could feel simple and easy. It makes sense. If it doesn’t align, you can feel conflict and resistance. You may find yourself paralysed at one point, not knowing what to decide, feeling stuck, lost and confused, perhaps experiencing a clash of reality with your values.
Values can be at play in different situations:
- Inner conflict and turmoil when facing a decision
- Something – you don’t know what – that stops you
- When you feel something is ‘calling for you’ but don’t know why
- Brands you don’t know why you buy
- People you just can’t get on with
- People you love getting on with!
- Decisions you find hard to make
- Choices you find easy
- Feeling affected by something but you don’t know why
We are all, always, driven by something. Values are always at play.
How to know your values and slay decision making demons
If you want to know or check what your values are, you can start by searching for a list of Values online and follow the below steps:
- Circle all the values that are important to you
- Identify your top 5 values – you can combine ones that you feel are similar
- Put the top 5 in priority order
- Check the list and how it sits with you. Any uncertainty and discomfort, repeat the exercise until you’re happy
>>> Health Warning: This looks like a simple exercise, but for it to work you have to be completely honest with yourself on what’s really important to you. Not what you want to be important, not what you aspire to be or convince yourself of. And don’t underestimate yourself either. <<<
Once you’re aware of your values, you will start to see how they may be at play when it comes to your decision making. Can you see any conflict between any difficult decisions you have now and your values? If you looked at your life now and the direction you’re going in, does it make sense when thinking about your values?
Coaching for Values
Coaching can be powerful in determining your values, it can be much easier and a much more honest exercise when responding to effective questioning techniques that will land you with your real values. It’s also an exercise that I do with many of my clients as part of a broader coaching plan, to really understand drivers before getting stuck into addressing a challenge or opportunity.
Have a go and see how you get on!