I find the topic of boundaries so interesting.

Every day we work with boundaries, implicit or explicit, set by ourselves or other structures including government, law, religion, ethics, morals.

And whether in a work or life context, boundaries make sense.

What is so interesting, is that how we can find it so difficult to set boundaries when we need them most. It’s not rocket science, often it’s as simple as ‘when something goes from a to b, I will c‘ where ‘c‘ is the change you will make in your own behaviour when a line is crossed.

There is an article on Forbes which has great tips on how to set healthy boundaries at work, there is an excerpt below and you can read the full article here.

1. Seek help

Setting boundaries at work may be as simple as seeking advice from your manager. New York Times bestselling author Ken Blanchard suggests this process:

• Begin with you and your boss each creating a separate list of the things you believe you are being held accountable for in your job. This exercise is eye-opening because there are almost always significant discrepancies between the two lists.
• Next, prioritize the items you think you should be focusing on.
• Lastly, negotiate agreed-upon priorities.

2. Conduct an audit

Beyond simply approaching your boss, conducting a boundary audit can go a long way in providing clarity around where you need to set limits. Start by becoming more aware of those people and situations that cause you stress and anxiety. Write them down. If you notice yourself feeling angry, resentful or guilty, that’s a sure sign that you may need to reset a boundary or communicate it more clearly.

3. Set limits

Once you have an idea of the areas where you need to focus, start setting limits. One example could be not checking work email in the evenings between 6-9 p.m. so you can focus on family time. Another may be to let your manager know that you need advance notice of work-related travel so that you can plan your family vacation.

Once you set limits, you need to communicate them to your team clearly and confidently. For instance, if you don’t want your team members to contact you at all hours, tell them exactly when you will be available for work conversations. If you don’t wish to be contacted on vacation unless it is an emergency, make sure to clearly outline what constitutes an urgent matter. When a boundary gets violated, address it immediately. It’s better to reinforce your limits in the moment than to wait.

5. Delegate more

Being a good leader means delegating. If you are expected to do the work of 50 people and feel overwhelmed with projects, chances are you’re not doing a good job of delegating work. Fortunately, this is a skill that can be developed. Learn to let go, trust your team and play to their strengths.

6. Take time to respond

One trick that may keep you from saying “yes” to that next project is the art of pausing. For example, the next time your boss asks you to take a last-minute business trip, hit the pause button before responding. This technique will give you a chance to check-in with yourself to determine whether you have a conflict. If needed, buy yourself time and say, “that might work, let me just check my schedule and get back to you.”

7. Practice saying no

Peter Bregman, author of 18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done suggests choosing some easy, low-risk situations in which to practice saying no. Say no when your waitress offers you dessert. Say no to the street vendor offering to sell you something. Go into a room by yourself, shut the door and say no out loud ten times. It sounds crazy, but it helps to build your “no” muscle.

8. Develop a system

David Allen, a productivity expert and author of Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity, suggests sorting through your to-do list and addressing each task in one of four ways:

• Do it
• Defer it
• Delegate it
• Drop it

The important thing is to tackle each issue only once and move on to the next.

9. Create structure

If you find yourself sucked into long, drawn-out meetings with your boss, create structure. One way to do this is to establish an agenda. An agenda puts you in control and positions you as a leader. You could also create structure by setting a meeting where one didn’t exist. A short weekly check-in might be more efficient than having your boss continually popping by your office unannounced.

10. Prepare for pushback

Once you start establishing healthy boundaries, you can expect others to react negatively. This is a sign that the boundary is necessary and that it’s working effectively. It’s also helpful to visualize your boundaries getting crossed and imagine how you’ll address those situations. That way, when a moment like that arises, you’ll be able to handle it rationally versus emotionally.

Employees who are the happiest and most productive are those who set boundaries. People who set limits gain respect because they show respect for themselves.

Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash