If you’re finding yourself with some extra time in lockdown, turn that boredom upside down and see if you can give yourself some space and time to think about where you are at in life, right now.
Reflection can be incredibly powerful. It’s a way of improving self-awareness by looking back and almost doing a little audit on your own behaviours, thoughts and feelings then and now, to help inform your present. It can help deeper understanding, clarity of thinking and general mind decluttering.
You may be hoping to change some things about your life post Covid-19 or perhaps the thought has been with you for a while and it’s recently resurfaced, either way, it can become an overwhelming question. For some, you will feel a blank space not knowing what other options you might have, for others, there will be a wealth of ideas, thoughts, options all swimming around in your mind. Perhaps you may find yourself somewhere in the middle, having some sense of direction but not enough to grasp.
Whichever scenario resonates with you, that moment can become overwhelming. And you just don’t know where to start. It becomes difficult and you think well, maybe my life is totally fine anyway, softly retreating back to your comfort zone. This is totally normal. And the thing to remember is, change is all about taking small steps.
So if you’re up for a small step, with no right or wrong answers – there is no solution, you don’t need to come to a conclusion, just let your mind explore a little more – then keep reading.
Here are 10 questions for self reflection, and some guidance on what you can do with the answers.
Find a quiet space and think through them in your own time or you may prefer to read through them all and answer them over time. Write answers as a list, write paragraphs, record voice notes, record a piece to camera, or partner with a friend and ask each other the questions, taking note of your answers to look back through.
Whatever suits you, there is no right or wrong, just the opportunity to take a small step, in your own time.
Tips:
- Once you feel like you’ve answered the question, ask yourself ‘What else?’, you might be surprised what extra thoughts might come up if you nudge your thinking a little more each time
- Consider looking through the answers a few times when you are in different moods, as your mood may unlock extra thoughts and may provide different perspectives
Ten Questions for Self Reflection (and what to do with the answers).
1. What do I enjoy?
→ Think about how much time you spend doing what you enjoy, and how you may be able to do more of it by increasing frequency and also by expanding the options of how you can do it. So for example, if you enjoy reading, you may think about setting aside regular time to read more often, joining a local or virtual book club.
2. What do I do that I don’t enjoy?
→ Spending more time than is necessary on doing things that we don’t enjoy can cause unhappiness, stress and anxiety. It can drain your energy, affect your confidence and will take up time that you could spend doing things you do enjoy. Looking at what you’ve listed, how can you reduce or entirely stop doing those things. Watch that voice in your head that says ‘you have to’ or ‘you can’t stop’ – and challenge that voice. Will there be dire consequences or temporary discomfort and adjustment?
3. What’s missing in your life right now?
→ How can you work towards making that happen? Consider breaking the end goal down into smaller steps, picking one milestone and focusing on how you can achieve it. For example, if you want to be fitter, what steps will get you there and which one of those can you start now?
4. What makes me happy?
→ This is a big question so think big. Dig into your memory bank. Think into your past and your present. Anything goes on this one, big or small. Use the answers to help influence decisions you may need to make now or in the future. For example, if looking at a new job, knowing what makes you happy might help influence what jobs you look at or decide to apply for.
5. What have been your accomplishments you’re most proud of?
→ Reflecting on moments that we are proud of can help us understand what’s important to us and what drives us. Think about those moments in detail and what it was about those moments that makes them feel important to you. What do you notice? Are there any commonalities?
6. What haven’t you done, that you wish you had?
→ When answers come to mind on this one, which ones stand out for you? How do you feel when you think about those things? Are there any you still want to do? What’s possible for you?
7. When you think about change, what do you want?
→ This is a really open question, be honest with yourself go as broad or deep as your mind takes you. (And don’t worry about whether it’s possible and what it needs to look like, you’re just capturing your thoughts, there is no commitment.)
8. How would it change your life?
→ Thinking about your answers to question 7, if those changes did happen, describe how it could change your life practically, mentally and emotionally.
9. What’s stopping you?
→ Again, thinking about your answers to question 7, what do you think has stopped you so far, from working towards those changes? Do you notice any trends in the thoughts or behaviours that do tend to stop you?
10. What’s your biggest fear?
→ Calling your fears out is a good start to working on naming them and overcoming them.
Bonus Question: 11. What’s your incentive to change?
→ Similarly, being very clear on why you want change can help boost your motivation and confidence to make it happen. Think about what’s driving you to want what you want. Why is it important to you?
If you’ve worked through some or all of the questions, good work! Remember to go back through your answers and add to them by asking yourself ‘What else?’. I hope this exercise has helped you articulate some of what’s in your head and started to bring your thinking together on what small steps you might take to move forward.
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